OFFICE RELATIONSHIPS

With employees spending more and more hours at work, co-workers often have more opportunity to build stronger relationships at work than at home. In addition the "perks of power"-- travel, fine dining, camaraderie, unquestioned authority, can be very seductive and exciting compared to what's waiting at home for some partners.

Employers are taking steps to limit or restrict office romances. What are some of the current trends?

• Contracting (Employees are required to sign a formal contract that they will not date other employees within a facility, and stating the employer is free of any liability if a suit or disagreement arises between two employees)
  
• Employer restrictions (Employers note that there is a conflict of interest if two employees begin to date and insist that one employee must leave the department)
  
• Providing outside counseling (Employees are referred to outside professionals for assistance establishing boundaries and procedures to maintain appropriate role separations in their work and leisure life.)
  

What are some of the fears relating to office romances? Many employers and co-workers believe that office relationship diverts employees from focusing on work tasks. Many employees who date fear that these relationships will endanger to their own careers. Often romantic couples are discounted on the ladder of promotions. Conflicts in the office are generally more emotionally charged than normal office disagreements, and may tend to separate and polarize employees forced to "take a side" in a romantic battle.

What are the 6 rules to remember in office romances?

• Breaking the Denial: Realize there is no such thing as a secret office affair or relationship.
  
• Multi-dimensional memory: Realize that you only see one side of the person at work. Too often romantic employees forget that people tend to act differently outside the office setting.
  
• New kid syndrome: Never get in a relationship with an employee before knowing more about the person. Too often new hires date other employees without knowing the history of relationships within the facility.
  
• Departmental Bombs: Avoid relationships with people in your own department If something goes wrong the lowest person on the totem pole will suffer.
  
• Financial Fiascoes: Never finance an office romance on your expense account or allow others to use the company for enhancing their love life.
  
• Junior's loss: Generally the junior level person is more damaged by alliances which fail. Remember that few romances survive one partner's departure.
  

If you can't resist an office romance- what are some keys to success?

• Be prepared: Realize that co-workers may be hostile and there can be difficulties. Create a plan if things don't go well in the relationship.
  
• Be direct: If the attraction is serious, speak directly about your interests and intentions. Make every effort to not allow your personal relationship interfere with your working relationship.
  
• Maintain appropriate behaviors: Keep romantic gestures away from work. Watch favoritism toward your partner and never bring fights to the office.
  

Be professional: Continue to maintain a high level of work performance, and don't lose sight of your professional responsibilities.