SINGLE FATHERS

Single fathers with primary custody of their children are often a forgotten population. With Father's Day nearing, it seems important to explore some of the unique circumstances of single dads. Statistics indicate that the number of single fathers in the US has grown 25% in the past three years. Research shows the number of fathers who have primary custody rose from l.7 million in 1995 to 2.1 million in 1998. Single fathers with primary custody now compose one sixth of the nation's 11.9 million single parents.

What are some of the factors that have caused the increase in the number of single father households? Many fathers have become unwilling to relinquish custody, reporting increased involvement in parenting prior to cases of divorce, and the courts have become more willing to grant fathers custody. Some women indicate their challenging careers and life roles create situations where the father may be in a better position financially and personally to take on the demands of single parenthood.

What are some of the major challenges facing single fathers? The foremost challenge is to overcome society's view of a father's ability to parent and retain primary custody. Unfortunately, men tend to isolate from support networks and limit their opportunities to gain support from outside sources. Men have been socialized to be primarily problem-solvers, and conflicts with children often leave them feeling incapable and inadequate in the parental role.

What are some important suggestions for single fathers?

  • Balance home and work to find a formula that works for the family unit.
  • Avoid the super dad syndrome. It is important that fathers realize they can't do it all, and understand they have limitations.
  • Accept support from others. It is important that dads learn to reach out and ask for help when it is needed.
  • Be watchful of social isolation. It is imperative that fathers maintain contact with friends and find time to care for themselves.
  • Trust your instincts as a parent. Learn to apologize and trust your intuition in responding in an emergency.

Create a new sense of family. It is important to keep some traditions from the past family unit, but be open and use your imagination to establish some new rituals and routines for the new family unit.